At LAST! And no, I'm not referring to the Etta James classic.  I mean At LAST, I have found a place where I can just open up, let my soul fall to the floor, and not have to worry about my family "like-ing" what i'm saying (as in FACEBOOK), questioning me about it, or friends/friends of friends/friends of friends of friends (again - Facebook) commenting or judging me.  

 

I have a bazillion thoughts going through my head at any given point of the day, and the one that always manages to find its way in there (like a little potato bug), is:  GOD - WHERE IS THIS SO CALLED LESSON?  I can KINDA see his hand at work, but for the most part i have NO CLUE what he's up to.  Like....WHY does he think it's ok for me to have to climb mountains in my relationship? WHY does he think it's ok for me to have gotten involved with someone who would eventually find me "unattractive" - even though absolutely nothing about me has changed (outer or inner).  WHY does he think it's ok for my previous employer to deny me unemployment when they KNOW i'm a single parent, and my termination was out of my control due to an extreme set of circumstances (my daughter has special needs). WHY WHY WHY???? 

 

Now don't get me wrong....i'm not complaining b/c i firmly believe that even with the big guy upstairs, there is a method to his madness....but could someone PLEASE fill me on on what it is this time around...b/c truth be told....i really don't know how much stronger he wants me to be....at this rate i'm ready to take on mike tyson....

 

ugh....

 

just a little vent in the place where i CAN vent, without familial commentary.....it's easier to vent when no one knows who you are...lol

 

until next time, 

a

Posted by Adiba _Pen on Wed 6 Jul 2011 11:00:33 pm     | 2 comments

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