"Yeah It Happened...But NOW I can say THANKS"

Ever so often I sit and wonder why is it you allowed me to slumber?
I went to places even when the spirit wispered NO...
I screamed for help, but first I closed the door...
I mean you couldn't tell me, I wasn't trying my best
I tried to relax but it just kept feeling like a fight.
God..How crazy is it..that  you spoke to me every way you knew
And yet I still decided..."Nah...you could keep waiting..I will no longer bow to you"

When in church...I tried to plug in the imaginary head phones
'cause I knew that if I heard what you had to say
You would only hear my tears as I once again had to submit to you...
How come you allowed me to do all that I did...and yet hold me closer than before..
Am I the 21century's remake of the prodigal son...but in the form of a daughter
'cause instead of being further I was closer...

And as I journey closer and closer into the joy you have in store for me..
Allow me to reflect on how I once wanted your comforting spirit to flee...
Remember when as your spirit said NO...I tried to comfort myself with a Yes
Not realizing fighting and disobeying the spirit will only brings stress... Wasn't that a mess?
Or what about when the preachers sermon was directed just for me
And instead of jumping for joy, 'cause you listened to my plea
I ran further 'cause he started saying..God has so much in store for me...Could that really be me?
I mean...God, I cried 'cause I knew that I was going to go through more trials..
I feared 'cause I knew it was goin' to get harder
I was shocked when I realized I may not be that lawyer..what will I tell my father?
Use me for your glory...so that others may totally submit

There's no other way to put it..
God use me for your will...'cause I'm ready to be more than filled
Everytime my cup tips over...and a little of your blessings spills
Fill my cup as if it were empty..so I will never forget that you and only you kept me...
Forever God...I love you...and now I want to say..Thank you

Thank you for allowing me to fall..'cause then I couldn't see that it was your hand picking me up
Thank you for getting me alone..'cause I would have never knew how to be intimate with you and only..
Thank you for the way people treat me 'cause it feels better to know vengeance is yours..
And thank you for not allowing your children to forget about me
'cause I was slowly slipping up...but now I totally rely on you....THANK YOU!

Remember...We're walking on a circus tight rope...for everyone to see...but the moment we slip up instead of pain...God is right there to catch us...and once we take that big step of faith and get back on...all we have to do is take baby steps until we get to the other side...and there lies JOY....

No more looking back at the nights....look toward the JOY....AMEN...( God bless whoever ends up reading this..This is just the way i was feeling...)

Posted by Francine_Lew on Tue 6 Feb 2007 12:39:27 pm     | 4 comments

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